I’ve found
few things more difficult to endure than the deviation of a childhood friend
from the course that we both set out on. There was a time when we both walked
in the same Light but at some tragic juncture, something changed. There is also
the case of meeting a long gone companion of another who also has split and
chosen to walk a separate path. And still, there are those sheep who although
have never been exposed to the Shepherd’s voice would recognized it if He
called.
There are
instances when I wonder what exactly the Shepherd is doing to retrieve His
single lost sheep. On the rare occasions in which I am not a "prodigal" sheep and I
am instead praying for a lost friend, I cannot seem to find my place in the
parable? Am I of the blessed ninety-nine who can be trusted to graze on their
own? Or am I the lost sheep who has no business pleading for the Shepherd to go
after His missing creation? For if I too am lost then my cries are far from His
ear.
Or even
still, am I the one who is supposed to go and seek out the lost member of my
herd? As a servant of the Shepherd, it is important to recognize that I am
always and simultaneously a member of all three parties: I have been entrusted to
the church (the ninety-nine), I do frequently go astray (the lost sheep), and I
am at times responsible for seeking out a missing member of my community. Yet I
have neither the skills nor the tools required to reach out to the lost for I
too have questions, doubts, and sins that distance me from the Shepherd. Even
if I was so inclined to go out on my own to try and retrieve a lost member, I
have been previously told that the sheep know His voice.
Yet again,
as a servant I have come to the realization that although I was lost and found,
I now have the luxury of pressing on with Christ as He seeks out His own. Yes,
I now walk with Him in solitude as He
calls my friend back to His flock! The joy for a servant lies not in simply
finding and returning missing members of the church BUT in walking daily with Christ as He (not I) calls. We are together,
alone and free to converse about MY sins, my doubts, and my concerns. So long
as we are walking together I am protected from my lusts and I really can feel
His closeness. We walk silently until I first raise my voice to Him. I ask, and
then I listen. I confess and then He embraces. The mountains and the cliffs
that we encounter together are the moments when He shows, or rather, proves His
power to me.
The further the missing sheep lies, the longer our time
together and the more exclusive time
I have with my Shepherd.
